obesity-ho!!!

hi, this is steph poschwatta, annemarie's friend. i'm six feet tall, blond, green-eyed, and enjoy long walks on the beach.... and i'm one of the founding members of the obesity club. here's the deal with the obesity club: it's not for obese people. rather, it's for those of us who are interested in gaining a few pounds... or perhaps a lot of pounds depending on our present girth. believe me, it's definitely a better idea than dieting. consider us the opposite of pro-ana and pro-mia... we're pro-chub. we believe in embracing life and indulging our bellies... and thighs... and asses. tempted to join? the obesity club has some pretty dang cool slogans like "go hard or go home", "bring on the fat", and "obesity-ho!" additionally, if you become a member of the obesity club, you will become a part of a caring community of individuals like yourself who say, "why the "h" am i so thin? i need some chub." you know, there's really not much more than i can say about the obesity club, so let our theme song speak for me (think the tune to R-E-S-P-E-C-T):
O-B-E-S-I-T-Y, find out what it means to i
O-B-E-S-I-T-Y, to the fat don't say goodbye
...feed it to me, feed it to me, feed it to me, feed it to me
yup, that's the obesity club in a nutshell. i'm particularly proud of the club... it's like my baby. so if you're dissatisfied with your ghastly thin frame, join today. you won't regret it. i assure you, me and my thunder thighs have never looked back.